Maybe, Someday

- Shreya Jindal, English-II

Aditya stares at the bathroom door, wondering what could be taking so long. Perhaps she’s nervous that he’ll insist on sleeping with her. Perhaps she wants to sleep with him, and is working up the nerve to ask. She emerges at last, and to his relief, she looks just as nervous as he feels. He half rises, feeling awkward.

“Why don’t you um-” He gestures to the bed nervously.

“Thanks.” She perches herself on the edge of the bed. Her eyes take in the strings of flowers hanging over the nuptial bed and the scented candles burning softly on the bedside tables, and she tenses.

Aditya winces as he follows her gaze. “My sister is an irrepressible romantic,” He explains, gesturing to the candles and flowers, “She insisted on this stuff. I don’t…I mean…It doesn’t mean we have to do anything tonight.” The words leave him in a rush. “I mean, we barely know each other, right?” He laughs nervously. “I can get rid of all this stuff if you want.”

The tension leaves her body at his words. “No, that’s fine. They smell nice.”

Aditya nods. There is a long pause.

“Do you realize that this is the first time we’re meeting each other outside of our parents’ company?” Pavitra says finally.


“We really don’t know a thing about each other, do we?” Aditya says, musingly. “I sort of convinced myself that we got to know each other in the few conversations that we’ve had. But I just realized that all I really know about you is that you did both your graduation and postgradution in Economics, and your hobbies are reading and singing. We couldn’t really ask each other anything meaningful with our parents present. I’ve wanted to ask you something for ages; have you had any…past love interests?”

“If you’re asking if I fell in love with a Muslim and my parents locked me in my room for months and forced me into wedlock with you under pain of death and disownment, then no,” Pavitra replies, amused. “I did date a guy when I was in the tenth, but my parents found out and immediately put an end to it. I wasn’t in love or anything- I was only sixteen. But my parents reacted so badly that I resigned myself to an arranged marriage and stopped looking for love. Were you ever in a relationship with anyone?”

“No.” Aditya replies, “I did have a few crushes over the years- I mean, who doesn’t, right? But I never went on any dates. My parents would never have let me marry anyone non-Telugu, either.”

They share a look of understanding.

“I wanted to ask you,” Aditya says after a short pause, “How fond are you of children? When do you want…?” Embarrassing as it is to ask, he knows that some lines need to be drawn as soon as possible.

“As soon as possible,” Pavitra replies immediately, and Aditya looks at her in alarm.

Pavitra starts as she follows his train of thought. “I don’t mean that we should, you know, start sleeping together immediately,” She says quickly, blushing. “I just- want kids. That’s the one thing that I’m prepared to demand of you if you refuse to give it of me. I mean- not that you would refuse, it’s just- God, this isn’t coming out right.” She takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “It’s not that I’m especially fond of children or that I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I’ve always had this dream, that I could work and have financial independence after postgraduation. But I was raised to be a housewife, and I know your parents won’t allow me to work, either. But after our honeymoon, you’ll be at work, and I’ll be alone with nothing to do but watch TV and read and lie around like a couch potato. Raising children would be something meaningful to do, you know? And I’d have all the time in the world to do it right. If I can’t be anything else, I can at least try to be the best mother I can be.”

Aditya stares at her, his heart constricting with sympathy for her, although that is as far as he is going to go. Ashamed as he is to admit it, he won’t go up against family and society for someone he barely knows. “You know,” He says, “I would have liked it if you could have worked too. But my parents-”

“No, I understand,” Pavitra interrupts, “Our parents shouldn’t have put us through free thinking, progressive, educational systems if they wanted our thoughts to conform to theirs. We’ve both grown up with people who have a higher ideal for married life. We’re never going to be fully satisfied with this.”

He nods somberly. He has had the same thought more times than he can count. They are silent for a while, and then Aditya asks, “What do you want to do on our honeymoon?”

“You mean apart from the obvious ‘getting to know each other?’” Pavitra replies.

“Yeah. Goa might get a bit monotonous, there isn’t much to do there apart from swim and look at beaches. Do you swim, by the way?”

“Yeah. And I love seashells.”

“Well…good. You’ll certainly find a lot of those in Goa.”

Silence falls again, but this time it is not as uncomfortable as the previous ones. Both of them have become more relaxed over the course of the conversation.

Pavitra yawns suddenly. “I’m kind of tired,” She apologizes.

“Yeah, so am I.” He lies down. “Goodnight, Pavitra.”

“Goodnight.”

They lie in silence for a long time, listening to each other’s breathing. Aditya is just drifting asleep when he hears Pavitra’s voice.

“Aditya?”

“Yes?”

She finally voices the question they have both been skirting around the entire evening. “Do you think we can ever learn to love each other?”

Aditya is silent for a moment. Then, he whispers, “Maybe, someday…”